I know this will come as a shock to you that I am not a hand model. No really, I’m not. Deal with my dry cuticles and poorly shaped nails as I tell you about the latest thing (according to Glamour magazine) in nail art.

My funfetti birthday nails.
There’s a page in the latest Glamour that caught my eye yesterday, showing some different arty nail designs. What really got my attention was a nail painted white and covered in teeny tiny little multicolored glass balls. Apparently it’s a kit you can buy for 20-something bucks, which right there reeks of scam, but these little glass balls looked remarkably like a bag of teeny glass balls I bought at Michael’s craft store a while back to use with polymer clay. I’m sure I didn’t spend more than $3 for the bag. They must be around here somewhere…

I usually roll polymer clay in these but what the heck? Let's try on nails.
I’m thinking how hard can this be? Not very, as you can see in the picture, although how long this lasts still remains to be seen.
I used clear polish because that’s what I had, and poured the sprinkles into the bottom of a solo cup (tip: use a flat bottomed dish, not a solo cup with a ridge around the edge).

Sprinkles ready to be sprinked.
I figured this way it would be easy to grab a pinch and hold my wet nail over the cup while drizzling some funfetti action on it. It worked well enough, I didn’t try to cover the entire surface area and they stuck better than I expected. Now the hard part: doing nothing for most of the day while the original polish coat dries and then two subsequent (really thick) coats dry. I don’t see any other way to make sure these suckers don’t just snap off while you are going about your day. Try this on a day when you have time to sit down and watch an American Pickers marathon or something. Then baby your hands the rest of the day – that’s something I’m really bad at. Just ask every ring I’ve ever had with a gemstone that isn’t set deep into the band. How my engagement ring has lasted this long is something of a miracle.
So there you have it. I would guess that your local craft store may have something like what I used (which did not cost 20 bucks), although I’m not sure I really like this look on anyone over 16. Not even me, the old lady who lives among college students.

Nails fit for a 12 year-old. A really patient 12 year-old.