I Have an Office Lizard.

Meet Paul.  He’s my new office lizard.  I don’t know how long he’ll stay, but he’s been pretty entertaining today.

Paul judges you.

Paul is an anole, which we have a lot of around here.  When it starts to get cold they are supposed to hunker down in some leaf litter or under tree bark and hibernate for the winter.  Paul said “fuck that noise!  I’m heading in for the winter!”  And that’s when I found him in the hallway.  I picked him up to put him outside and some of my students said he’d freeze if I did that, so I felt bad and took him to my office.

Paul was dehydrated and as he slowly crawled off my hand, I expected I would find his little skeleton curled up behind the overstuffed chair months later when I did spring cleaning.  Like a dork I put out two dishes of water around the chair, turned on the heater,  and hoped for the best for him.  Then this morning I saw him staring at me from the bookshelf.  He was a little more spry.  I hope he had some water but I read that they don’t drink out of water dishes.  Instead they lick dew off grass.  Sorry Paul, it’s the dish or nothing.  I left a piece of my pear on the windowsill until tomorrow and maybe he’ll lick that.  At my first meeting of the day, we watched him climb up the stereo and wander around the shelves.  When I came back after lunch he was gone but popped up again during my next meeting and stayed in the window until after my last meeting (a judicial hearing where one of the girls noticed him and asked if it was a toy).  He’s very chill.

I think the window light did him some good because he’s a bit greener now.  I just hope he finds some good live bugs and doesn’t eat the dead things left over from the last exterminator visit that I missed with the vacuum.      In case you are thinking I’m cruel for trapping a lizard in my office, let me assure you there are a million ways to escape.  Gaps in the woodwork EVERYWHERE – he can get out any time he wants.



About deepfriedyankee

I am a parade of one. A seeker of bathtubmarys. A lover of Mardi Gras, bacon and marbles. I have the patience of a saint. A very, very flawed saint.
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One Response to I Have an Office Lizard.

  1. My brother had to borrow his friend’s anole to get a Boy Scout badge last year. They’re really awesome creatures and incredibly fast.

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