The Redneck Chef Saves Thanksgiving

I’m so proud of my husband right now.  No, really.  He’s a very traditional guy, but once in a while he manages to think outside the box.

Today being Thanksgiving, we are actually cooking a whole turkey.  Most years I just go to the grocery store and get a bunch of premade stuff  that I can’t ruin and don’t have to worry much about, but he got a free turkey from work.  Ugh.  I mean YAY!  Free turkey.

All is going well until he asks me where the turkey baster is.  We had one once because we cooked a turkey ONCE.  I seem to remember running to K-Mart in a panic many years ago to find this thing and now of course it’s nowhere to be found.  It was so long ago, the rubber bulb probably dry rotted and I threw it out.    Now he’s in a foul mood because apparently a baster is a make or break accessory to a turkey dinner.  I suggested a ladle which was immediately dismissed as unacceptable.  Then (in what I thought was a stroke of genius) I rummaged through the cupboard and came up with an empty squirt bottle for mustard.  Also not good enough for him.  I am not about to go shopping on Thanksgiving for a turkey baster that we probably won’t use for another 12 years.

And then, in a stroke of redneck genius that only an auto mechanic can come up with, he asks if I want to use a battery acid tester or an antifreeze tester.  What the hell?

Redneck turkey baster

He assured me the battery acid tester has never been used, and he demonstrates how well it will work.  Gotta admit, I’m impressed.  Plus, I don’t have to run to K-Mart.  But just wait until he asks where the electric knife is.

Andy demonstrates the redneck turkey baster. Note the turkey on his shirt. It’s so Thanksgiving.



About deepfriedyankee

I am a parade of one. A seeker of bathtubmarys. A lover of Mardi Gras, bacon and marbles. I have the patience of a saint. A very, very flawed saint.
This entry was posted in Food, Humor, Life and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to The Redneck Chef Saves Thanksgiving

  1. yourothermotherhere says:

    Funny! Have a great Thanksgiving. I already know it’s going to be an interesting one!

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