Poor Turkey. Between the U.S. Embassy bombing in Ankara and the death of Sarai Seirra in Instanbul, it’s having a very shitty week. I’ve been following Sarai’s story through Twitter since the day her family flew to find her. Obviously, it interests me because of my upcoming trip where I too will be travelling alone to Istanbul. There is a lot of mystery here and I don’t think we are being told the whole story. Well of course we aren’t – it’s an ongoing investigation after all. I just mean I hope to learn something from all of this that can be helpful (beyond my usual travel paranoia). Did she make some bad choices? Trust the wrong people? Or was this a completely random crime?
Don’t get me wrong though, I’m not victim-blaming. But if you read the comments below any of the dozens of stories about this, you will find plenty of people who are. And sadly, they are mostly Americans of the ignorant variety, who are terrified of foreign travel because it is so… foreign. These people believe the U.S. is the safest place in the world and that a woman should never travel alone or she deserves what she gets. That a woman’s place is in the home or by the side of her man. That all Muslims want to kill Americans. People who only eat white bread and American cheese, and believe ketchup counts as a vegetable. And so on. I am taking great offense and it’s all I can do to not leave a hundred comments about what morons these people truly are. What they say about her is essentially what they are saying about me and it really pisses me off. To them I say:
- Not everyone is a people-loving extrovert who draws energy from those around them. Some people enjoy being alone and need that peace to recharge.
- There are plenty of reasons why I sometimes enjoy travelling alone. None of them have anything to do with running away, cheating on my husband, smuggling drugs, being an amateur spy or whatever other bullshit people are going to charge Sarai with next.
- Why would a mother and wife travel alone? I’m not a mom but it doesn’t take a genius to answer this. She’s a mother and wife. Duh. You don’t ever want to get away from your loved ones that you are constantly caring for? Don’t lie, of course you dream of a vacation by yourself.
- Oh, you’d never actually go? Maybe that’s because you have a defeatist attitude and have given up your dreams because society tells you that they are worthless when compared to your responsibilities. Wake up. It’s a big world and if all you’re seeing of it in this life is South Podunk, you’ve already died a little.
- I don’t HAVE to go to Istanbul. I could travel in this country, which I already do. And I could just as easily come to an unpleasant end here. Some would argue MORE easily.
- Being a woman doesn’t take away my right to travel anywhere I choose to, even if it is going to be alone. (And as my sister pointed out, I am probably more in danger during my annual Mardi Gras trip than in Istanbul.
I don’t know, I don’t even know where to begin about how angry I am when I read those comments. SO. ANGRY. So many idiots. I’m not going to hide in my house, cowering in fear. I guess that’s all.