The Three Day Diet Skeptic

I’m going to try the Three Day Diet, aka the Military Diet, aka the Cardiac Diet. And if I’m going to do something as dumb as trying a fad diet, of course I’ll blog it for you. I’ve never done a fad diet by the way. I don’t believe anything is going to help you besides a full-on permanent change in how you feel about eating and fitness.

My boss mentioned this diet that she was on the other day and said she’d lost over 30 pounds using it on and off (with regular exercise). I thought it sounded weird because it seems very rigid and restrictive but also wondered if it would help jump start me back on the healthy eating and fitness path. I was at my ideal weight and fitness level @5 years ago and got lazy so now I’m having a hard time finding the motivation to get back where I was. I thought about looking it up and then promptly forgot all about it. Later that evening as I was looking at food porn on Pinterest, this diet pops up and I took it as a sign that maybe I should check it out, just for kicks. I mean, being miserable for three days to test this supposedly proven diet (although proven by what entity the blogs never say) isn’t going to kill me. Right? Maybe just make me want to die.

So I read a few blogs that discuss this diet and I won’t link to any of them here because they are easy to search for and basically say the exact same thing, almost word for word. I wish people would actually write about their experiences rather than just copying a blog entry into theirs for the sake of making some imaginary blogging quota or whatnot. I digress. Sorry, that’s anther rant for another day. I got my list of meals together and picked it all up at the last Wal-Mart run. It’s nothing I wouldn’t eat anyway, just rather small amounts and substitutions are not allowed (or heavily frowned upon if you want this to work). You follow these meals for three days and supposedly they are the right amounts and ingredients to get your metabolism going and start burning off fat. Sounds like a crazy chemical reaction of explosive awesomeness but I’m neither a chemist nor a dietitian. Then you eat like a normal healthy person (maybe those two words don’t go together) for the other four days and you try it all over again the next week until you are satisfied with your weight loss. Detractors claim that you are only losing water weight, not fat. Also, there is the peril of putting the weight right back on after you stop this insanity. My personal goal is to drop @5 pounds with the diet which will motivate me to keep on the healthy eating track, get me back at the gym, fit into my clothes better and I will then lose my additional 10 pounds by changing my lifestyle back to how it was before I let things slide. You can’t just lose weight. You have to be more conscious of what goes into your body and you have to get fit so you have the muscle tone to haul your ass around. I know this, really I do. I was at my healthiest when I was working out 2-3 times a week and eating a low carb diet because I have migraines that are often triggered by sugar/refined carbs. I think I just got lazy and failed to maintain once I had lost all the weight I wanted – losing weight wasn’t even the plan, stopping the migraines was! In my opinion, if you want a “diet” that works, go Low Glycemic Index.

But here we are, with a three day plan, to see what happens. Here’s what I’m eating today:

Day One Breakfast: 1/2 a grapefruit, one piece of bread or toast, 2 tablespoons peanut butter and a cup of tea or coffee. (Not bad, about the amount I would normally eat, but who the hell has only 1/2 a grapefruit? Annoying, but I’ll play along. And there’s no mention for coffee drinkers if they can have milk in it but I think Splenda is your only approved sweetener.)

Day One Lunch: 1/2 cup of tuna, one piece of bread or toast and a cup of tea or coffee. (Hm, now I don’t get any peanut butter to put on my bread and I wish I could have some fruit, but I squished a 5oz can of tuna into my 1/2 measuring cup so huzzah! Seriously – I’m not setting aside 1 ounce of tuna for Thursday. I’ve probably ruined everything now.)

Day One Dinner: 3 ounces of any type of meat, 1 cup of green beans, 1/2 banana, 1 small apple, and 1 cup of vanilla ice cream. (That’s just a weird combination of stuff, and I don’t understand how vanilla ice cream comes in here, but at least I get some fruits and veggies. I may be a rebel and eat an entire small banana though.)

I’m going to share some numbers with you now, which might make you hate me. See I’m not exactly overweight or anything, just not where I want to be. I’m only posting this so we can track what progress (if any) I make. I weighed myself today @11:30am on Day One, and I will weigh myself on the morning of Day Four as well as next Monday to see if anything I lost came right back. I don’t expect to lose a lot (people advertise up to 10 pounds in three days) because I don’t have a lot to lose in the first place. This morning I weigh 130.5 pounds. I’m 5′ 2″ and have obtained the “spare tire” and the dreaded thigh cellulite – I refuse to accept these things as part of middle age.

I’m going to post this on Day One and try to update as something interesting happens, rather than saving this as a draft. Otherwise, I’m afraid it will end up in the Land of Lost Drafts and I’ll never get around to finishing it. But first, here’s what I’ll be eating for the other two days.

Day Two Breakfast: 1 egg, 1 piece of bread or toast, and 1/2 banana. (Notice no more coffee or tea, and they never mention if I can butter my bread…)

Day Two Lunch: 1 cup of cottage cheese or 2 ounces of cheddar cheese, 1 hard boiled egg, and 5 saltine crackers. (Which makes me think I’ll be feeling nauseous by this time?)

Day Two Dinner: 2 hot dogs (no buns or ketchup, mustard ok), 1 cup of broccoli, 1/2 cup of carrots, 1/2 banana, and 1/2 cup of vanilla ice cream. (What is with all this 1/2 banana bullshit???)

By the way, I also read somewhere that you can drink as much water as you want, and should ideally drink (in ounces) half the number you weigh (in pounds). If you are a heavy water drinker, please chime in here: If I drink 65 ounces of water per day, I will be very unproductive at work because I’ll be getting up to pee every 15 minutes. Does your body adjust to that over time or would I always be running to a bathroom. I can’t live like that; life is too short to spend that much of it in a bathroom.

Day Three Breakfast: 5 saltine crackers, 2 ounces of cheddar cheese, and 1 small apple. (I think this is the suckiest “meal” of the entire diet.)

Day Three Lunch: 1 hard-boiled egg, and 1 slice of bread or toast. (Ok, I lied, this is worse than breakfast.)

Day Three Dinner: 1 cup of tuna, 1/2 of a banana, and 1 cup of vanilla ice cream. (At least I get a whole cup of ice cream again.)

DAY TWO UPDATE!!!

I’m writing this @24 hours after the above section. Here’s what I am thinking so far:

  • I’m hungry.
  • I’m not very good at food measuring.
  • I miss snacking – I prefer “grazing” to three big meals a day (not that these are big).
  • I find myself thinking about what I’d like to grab to eat and then have to remind myself no – you aren’t really eating today.
  • I don’t see how someone who cooks for others could stand this. Kids and needy spouses would have to fend for themselves for a few days.
  • DON’T look at Pinterest, unless you are looking specifically at sections that have nothing to do with food. As if such a section actually exists on Pinterest.
  • I wish it would be explained WHAT in each of these foods is so important, so I could make logical substitutions if I needed. For example, ice cream doesn’t usually agree with me but frozen Greek yogurt and I get along just fine. Will that ruin everything?
  • Where is this diet “proven” other than andecdotal evidence?
  • My Dr. would probably kill me if she knew I was trying this.
  • I’m fucking hungry.

20130521-124247.jpg

That’s my sad lunch from Day Two that I am currently “enjoying”.

HOLY SHIT YA’LL IT’S DAY THREE!!!

That’s right, another 24 hours have gone by and I haven’t gnawed off my foot in desperation. Because my foot’s not on the PLAN. I’m still hungrier than a mo-fo but other than that, I feel fine. Other people have experienced headaches, dizziness, weakness…just from being around me (bada-ba ching!). Seriously, I feel good, just hungry. I haven’t had to restrict my normal activities (which pretty much includes lying on a couch watching TV after work, unless I ride my bike to run errands.) And lunch is coming up – the best lunch of the WHOLE experience! Yes, I can’t wait to savor that hard boiled egg and piece of bread. FML. But after that it gets better because I can be normal again, and eat all the fruit I currently have going to rot in my fridge waiting for me. I will say though that last night I actually felt like I had enough to eat for dinner. However, it’s really REALLY hard to eat an entire cup of broccoli when you don’t care for it to begin with and now you can’t dump cheese on it to make it palatable. Plus now I have a shitload of leftover broccoli that I don’t ever want to eat.

BTW – I was a rebel this morning and had SIX crackers instead of five. I’m sure I’ve ruined everything now.

THE BIG REVEAL – IT’S DAY FOUR!!!

Hey, I get to eat again! But you don’t care. You only want to know if I’ve lost any weight. So using the same scale at the same time of day, even wearing similar clothes and the same shoes I can tell you that I now weigh…

129

Hm. Did you expect something more epic? I guess I really didn’t. I weigh 1.5 pounds lighter on Thursday than I did on Monday. And that doesn’t seem like so much that it can’t be explained by normal weight fluctuations. I will try to eat mostly healthy for the rest of the week (although I do like my movie popcorn and I’ll never pass up the offer of a doughnut) and we’ll see what I weigh next Monday. My thoughts on this:

  • Was it worth it to be hungry all the time? I’m not sure. But I did come to realize that I could still get up and move about and be productive even if I was starving. The world didn’t stop turning and I didn’t get the migraine I was expecting.
  • This is probably much harder for people who drink a lot of caffeine because after the first day it’s a no-no on most lists I’ve seen. That might be a deal breaker for some.
  • On the plus side, I’ve been able to increase my water intake greatly and I’m sure my body would appreciate if I kept that up.
  • Will I try this again? Maybe? I really don’t know what I think at this point. I’d probably be all over it if I’d lost 5 pounds.
  • I DO feel lighter and more full of energy the past two days which isn’t usual for me. I would guess it’s the lack of sugar? And it’s nice to not feel all bloated when you eat way more than you need.
  • My digestive system was definitely happier with me – with the exception of the 5:30am call of protest I got from my stomach about eating ice cream that first night. I can tell a difference right now, after eating a good-sized salad for lunch. Smaller surely is better, but I would have smaller more than three times a day.

One Week Later…

I weighed myself two hours late (sorry, I slept in and had breakfast at noon) and right now the scale says 128.5. I’ve been trying to eat in healthy ways that makes sense for me, and I must say that diet helped me squash some sugar cravings. All in all it is helping me make better choices and I do feel I have more energy.

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About deepfriedyankee

I am a parade of one. A seeker of bathtubmarys. A lover of Mardi Gras, bacon and marbles. I have the patience of a saint. A very, very flawed saint.
This entry was posted in Health, Life, Reviews and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The Three Day Diet Skeptic

  1. Mandy says:

    I’ve seen that one and I assume I would starve on it. So I’ll be interested to see how this turns out.

  2. This post is about how badly stress affects you physically. My lesson was to get to the source of my physical stress and deal with it. Don’t patch it up with a “Band-Aid solution”, but try as much as possible to remove that stressor. Until I did, despite tweaking and adjusting my squeaky clean Paleo-diet a hundred times over, nothing would change. I kept putting on weight (much slower than if I was eating a SAD-diet, but still), and by December 2012 I reached the point of desperation. Yes, I was sick of not fitting into my jeans and dresses, but mostly I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.

  3. Linda Pitts says:

    I’m getting so frustrated! I got a little obsessed with the scale. On weigh in day I had weighed myself first thing in the morning so weighed myself that night just to see how I was after going through the day. I was still at 115. The next day I thought I would check it again and it was at 119! WTH? I could see a couple pounds of water weight or something but 4? Anyways just had to let my rant out. I hope you ladies are having better luck on the scales than I am!

  4. Mandy says:

    Your results sound generally positive, but I still have my doubts about how it would work for me. I have days where I feel funky before lunch because my blood sugar is low (thanks, gestational diabetes, for the knowledge of what different sugar levels feel like!) so I’m not sure I could pull this one off. Plus I don’t like everything on the approved diet and your point about not knowing how to make substitutions is a good one.

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