FOOD: Insanely Delicious Chocolate-Toffee-Pretzel Bark

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Normally I ignore recipe posts on Facebook, but for some reason I opened this one and thought “huh – I might be willing to risk ruining a bag of chocolate chips for this”. That means something. It has four ingredients, one of which is pretzels which for some reason my husband can’t get enough of lately. Maybe I should just put out a salt lick for him.

My hesitation on making this stuff was that I am not a candy maker. I can bake but candy is usually a disaster of epic proportions, destroying the best things in life. Sugar, chocolate and butter being three of them. I’ve failed at using both candy thermometers and the tests of dropping hot sugar in the water to see what stage of ruination I’ve achieved. This recipe didn’t have those usual scary instructions involving temperatures or “soft ball stage”.

Let’s get to it because as it turns out, it makes a pan of pure heaven:
Turn on your oven to 400 degrees.
Line an average size cookie pan (one with sides) with parchment paper.
In a saucepan, melt TWO sticks of butter over medium low heat.
While that’s happening, throw down a layer of pretzels on the pan.
When the butter starts to get bubbly, stir in one cup of brown sugar.
STIR, STIR, STIR! Especially if you have bad luck burning sugar, stir the whole time while the butter and sugar combine. If you have a rubber spatula I think it’s more effective than a spoon. The original poster said stir 3 minutes but she was a liar – it took more like 8 or 9 but maybe I had the heat too low due to my aforementioned fear of sugar burning. What you DON’T want to do (besides burn it) is boil the sugar mixture. While it will still taste delicious, it will be very grainy and what you are aiming for is a smooth texture.
When there is no more random butter refusing to join the party, pour it all over the pretzels and working quickly, spread it around with the spatula.
Throw the pan in the oven for 5 minutes.
Take the pan out SUPER carefully, as I am not responsible for your third-degree sugar burns.
Sprinkle a 12 ounce bag (the usual bag size) of chocolate chips over the hot mess (literally) and try to get an even amount all over.
Pop back in the oven for @45 seconds.
Take out and try to spread the chocolate the best you can with the spatula without stirring up the toffee and pretzels.
If you’re feeling incredibly pretentious, sprinkle some sea salt. I think salted caramel EVERYTHING has been overdone though, and you already have salt on your pretzels. Pretty sure bacon bits would do well here, FYI.
Put in the fridge for at least an hour, knowing you’ll be breaking off pieces from around the edges way before that.

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About deepfriedyankee

I am a parade of one. A seeker of bathtubmarys. A lover of bacon. I have the patience of a saint - but not any of the saints you've ever heard of.
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