On this, the most Holy of Residence Life Holy days, we ask you
Oh Creator, Creators, Flying Spaghetti Monster or Mysterious Scientific Processes that brought us life,
Bless us in our trials with new students, parents, rain, broken elevators, heat stroke, lost keys, panic attacks, e-cigarettes, comfort animals, fan coil leaks, and nasty roommates.
Deliver us from bed bugs and may no personal emergencies befall us upon this day.
For nothing is more important than the student experience today, the day we hope they remember fondly for the rest of their life – especially when they become old and wealthy and want to donate to their alma mater.